Radio Silence

It’s been too long since I’ve posted, and unfortunately I can’t say it’s for good reason. It’s actually a really bad reason: vanity.  Pure, simple, unadulterated vanity.  You see, I think know people wish to be seen in a certain light.  Some want to be seen as happy, others hot; some want their congenial nature to shine while others have no problem letting their anger be heard by the whole world.  I tend to be a member of the former over the latter, and while Real Life has never cared which camp we want to be in, social media has given us control over these things.  Well, it gives us a sort of control over them in the sense that we have more power than ever before to show a larger portion of the world only what we want them to see.  This is why my radio silence has been pure vanity.

Over the past month(ish) we’ve had to deal with a serious health scare, issue, and resulting treatments.  I’ll get into details about it at a later date.  For now let’s just say we’ll have the “in sickness” part of the vows sufficiently covered.  (All is currently good on that front right now.)  While I know no one expects me to take time out to blog between doctor visits or in hospital waiting rooms, that lack of expectation doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have.

This blog was meant to be a chronicle of my journey to loving myself, loving my partner, and loving my life all exactly as they are.  If I ignore, cut out, or refuse to write about parts of that journey just because they aren’t happy or pleasant for me to think about, do they go away?  No, no they don’t.  They get more powerful.  Instead of being released into the universe like an unwelcome ghost they sit in my brain and give power to the voices of fear, doubt, and insecurity.  *And* I become the blogging version of  Those Instagram Girls.  (You know the ones- they photoshop and filter every picture, selfie, and snapchat before it ever hits The Net.)  I don’t want to be one of Those Girls.

So no, not everything I write will be funny, geeky, or amusing.  Most of it will be, because generally my life is happy, geeky, and fun.  Some of it will be painful, or sad, or scared.  But I promise all of it will be real.

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